Hailing from a small town in MP, and after travelling various cities across India, learnt that 'Things that are considered taboo in my town are not considered the same in big cities'. Gals take pride in announcing their relationships and feel even prouder broadcasting that they dumped a guy and now into a second relationship.
Let me put down my observations in a more systematic way.
Guys -
Observation: For most of my friends; good looks, easy going, servant type, fat pocket are the only(ONLY :-P) requirements they look for in a guy. An exception to all these needs to be a guy very well spoken and highly intelectual in the way he flirts with gals.
Awe: Why are gals not looking for a guy bestowed with qualitites like simplicity, serenity, reverence for others, possessiveness, sense of responsibility or atleast a few of them ??
Conclusion: Such guys exist no more .
How wise it is to fall for someone -
Observation: How wise or how foolish? It just happens. You get to know, only when you are into it. I remember, my father's friend's daughter was in love with a guy , when she was working (age: 22+) in a pvt. concern (Assumption: Working people are mature enough to decide their life their way). Uncle was ashamed of his daughter's act bcoz he felt it was against her daughter's betterment and that she wasnt mature enough to decide for herself.
Awe: My friends' school going bro's and sisters are in love; kids who are not mature enough to decide their future, their goals in life, their perfect partner, their ultimate source of happiness.
Conclusion: It doesnt take much to fall in love, so why waste time thinking if thats wise or foolish?
How much can u adjust for ur loved one -
Observation: It varies from person to person. One of my friend turned vegeterian for her bf but cant compromise with her choice of dressing. One completely changed her way of dressing according to her bf but cant adjust with her bf's smoking and drinking habits. Another cant compromise with her bf's choice of movies and at times her bf's dominating attitude. Newer couples adjust much more than older ones do.
Awe: The gal's power to resist what she doesnt want and persuade her guy to do what she thinks is right.
Conclusion: She can adjust to a certain level. Compromises, rather 'Adjustments' are a crucial part of a relationship which decides the below factor.
Longetivity of relationships -
Observation: I've seen couples who broke up within months and who broke up after 6-7 years.
There are two type of gals. Gals who get dumped, end up crying for couple of weeks , then gradually normalize and then end up marrying according to their parent's choice. Gals who dump others generally get a backup first and in the process of getting a backup, starts comparing her present bf to her 'going-to-be' bf. She gets hell lot of bad qualities in her present bf whom she once proved to be the most eligible bachelor to her friends some time back / long time ago. Statements like, 'I cant adjust with him any more' , 'i care for just 1 person in this entire world but he doesnt care for me' , 'now-a-days he gives me sheer turn-offs' , 'i'm bored with his sophistication' , 'I cant answer his every Question, afterall i also have my individuality', 'He(backup bf) is far better than my bf, i wonder i met him before i committed to my bf' are the common ones.
Awe: Divorce on mutual understanding. People going into living relationships and then breaking up.
Conclusion: Relationships are constant, only they get renewed every now and then. You need to simulate your post-marriage life, before marriage in order to be able to decide if he is really the one for you. But what about the social boundaries you cross in the process?? Who cares, better than persistent compromises.How loyal a gal is when she is in love the second time (first one is a failure) -
Observation: She is very excited bcoz she fell in love the second time. Everything's going very mushy mushy. When the mush gets lighter thereby giving space to practicality in their relationship, she says "I've made enough adjustments in my past relationship, now i cant even move an inch" , "My past relationship has made me tough enough to face this world of men, so i'm pretty straightforward regarding my demands" . She is the second type of gal who dumps again.
Awe: She breaks up again, no overflow of emotions.
Conclusion: Was she really able to fall in love the second time? Or it was an alternative for her broken love? Did he rule her dreams like it happened in her first relationship?
If she wasnt in love the second time, then whom was she deceiving all these time. She needs to realize that its not HIM but she was deceiving none other but HERSELF.
Love is a complicated equation. People are lucky who end up marrying the person they love. They are luckier who end up marrying their first love. But for the rest, "Take It Light" :-)
1 comment:
was a good elucidation of a complex mind, i like dthe way you ended the thing 'is she deceiving herself'..
Post a Comment