Tuesday, April 7, 2009

i pity her

I pity her.

She never loved him by herself. It was induced by him. She never felt those contractions in her inner muscles the way he felt in her presence. Then why did she accept his proposal? She chose the person who loved her truly.

He was so intense and She immature enough to decide for herself. She was so tender to raise her mind and voice her likings. She was scared of him. She accepted things. She wanted to get rid of him at times but he was so intense and she so gentle and serene. She was so secretive and introward that she couldnt get a second opinion on the situation. But He loved her more than anything on earth. He was ready to do anything for her. He was ready to stand by her, think for her betterment, make her feel comfortable his OWN way. Lost in such immense effort, he forgot to give her some space, he forgot what she wants.

He did big things for her ignoring the fact that she wants small things that would make her happy. He loved her very much but wanted her HIS way. She was just a follower He the master. He never realized the fact that he is imposing his love on a tender, immature, stupid mind. She never understood the intensity of his love and the result was she never appreciated him. He didnt stop the effort . But he is a human after all. As time passed he started complaining because he wanted results. He wanted to see her reciprocate the same way. He wanted to see her love him with the same intensity. He wanted to see her excited about the time spent together. She was so cold. His complains would suffocate her and now she realized that she needs to perform. She was natural no more. She started acting. She was fake. but why did she fake? Why did she not break out of this? She was scared. She was immature. She was afraid of the unknown. She was secretive. She was indecisive regarding what to do. She was wrong. She was killing herself but not do the right.

She failed to perform and now he would be very harsh on her. He would count on all he did for her and what he got in return. She would think she is a jinx and doesnt deserve to be loved. She started feeling inferior. He frustrated, meanwhile finds friendship in her friend who is beautiful and of the similar kind. For him frienship means a lot and he would do anything for a friend. He started caring for her friend, standing by her, think for her betterment, make her feel comfortable his OWN way.
She already dying with inferioirity is now doomed to darkness. She thinks she is inferioir to her friend. And He is worth being with her friend and not her. She started realizing that she was the centre of his world, now slowly dissipating away and giving room to her friend. She cried more than she cried before. She felt the most inferior thing on earth, suffocated enough to attempt suicide. But she was not brave enough to die. She was brave enough to suffer.

Menawhile, She meets another guy(Just a guy) whom she starts liking from the very first day. This guy(TG) is simple and cares for simple things. Very impressive, humorous and makes her comfortable. TG cares for small happiness. TG doesnt make her feel inferior. TG is not so intense. She likes talking to TG, spending time with him, listening to his jokes and thats all She looks forward in her life. She feels that TG is all she wanted. She hates the moments spend with Him and thinks of those spent with TG. As time goes on, she feels more and more for TG. One day , She feels contractions in her inner muscles in TG's presence. She realizes this is the guy. TG is casual and not intense. But TG is the kind of guy who never makes efforts to get closer to her. TG is some1 as indecisive as She was before.

Her friend gets married and She senses that He is upset. She is back as the centre of his world. Everything is so virtual. So many feelings floating around but none is concrete. Everything so unspoken but intensely felt. Now they plan to get united and its her turn to be upset. She wants to meet TG for the last time. She meets TG every night in her thoughts and thats good enough to give her the contractions. She wants to walk the long road to destiny with TG. But she doesnt know what to do.

She founds her more fake with Him day by day. She realizes that she is stepping towards a fake world. She is not looking forward to their union. She cant forget TG. But what has happened so intense between her an TG that She feels devastated by her union with him? Probably She could never love Him. She coomitted to a guy who loved her to the core. She was an immature idiot not to understand his intensity. By the time, She actually understood his intensity, there was Her friend to make things worse. ANd then came this guy(TG) who ended her remaining feelings for Him.

But still they will unite. Nobody was brave enough to make right decisions at the right time, understand each other's wants, take a bold step no matter how far have u walked the road. Is this not a compromise they are looking forward to? Atleast he has loved her once intensely but She, never ever.

Now, i pity them.

1 comment:

Kavitha said...

She is supposed to get back to her reality, what more she wants than a man who is madly in love with her and also want to give her a new life by marrying her!! she should stop thinking back, she should stop think who manipulated her for what?!! she should stop thinking that she is being demanded of lot of things by her man and instead she should think .. she is so pleased to do it, she loves him in his domination, she loves him for his expectation, she has to offer herself to him with love and affection and live and die for him. just not appriciate but but reward and feel that she is united with the GOD.
Well i was sarcastic.. fuck it.!!!

How does it feel to advice others to do this and to do it byself?!!
Well there was one more similar girl who kind of more devastated who found that all the TG's she thought she loved only left her at one or the other point of life and now going through compromise of living by the expectation of her MAN. She lived like lioness throught her life now is turned a rat in a hole!!!...
being so afraid of him and do all the things so conciously and correctly and according to his will,
if you meet her once now, you will feel better and then who knows you may pity her.
Ask your girl to live happy as long as she can with what she gets in life, because we dont get more than what we deserve.
I wish your girl a Better luck next life .. or perhaps this life, if she dares enough ever to protest and make her choice , if ever life gives her a second chance and she dares to grab it.. tell her that I am with her.